I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
