dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
