There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
