phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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