So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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