i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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