How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
