$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
