I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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