Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
