I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im six kinds of drunk right now
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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