im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
