i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
