I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
