She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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