peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
