Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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