Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
