Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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