The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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