I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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