dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
