don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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