oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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