if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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