according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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