Whatcha textin bout Willis?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
