just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need water and some morals
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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