If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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