He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have aggressive nipples.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
