Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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