the day after is always just damage control
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
