dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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