THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
