i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
