at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
