I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
