chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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