And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
