I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
