apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
