It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
