some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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