I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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