I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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