I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
