But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
