ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
