she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
