vagina is talking i cant
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
