All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
