Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
