I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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