I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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