sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
