seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
